Sometimes I’m just here thinking. That’s a dangerous time.
Because when I think, I think way too much, never just enough.
If there’s a line, in my mind, I’ve already crossed it. But too much of a coward I am to ever let it become reality.
For fear of people hating me and even loving me, I stay in the corner of my mind having a conversation with my conscience.
Although I’m always cautious, the invisible man always seems to surpass all the precautions and grab ahold of my heart until he’s ripped it apart.
Go ahead and take it, like an unsatisfied wife faking an orgasm until she makes herself cum to the thought of that neighbor down the street.
How everything is buried underneath the artificial beach. I’ve covered up the cold stone with grains of humor to keep the crowd from being uncomfortable. Because no one ever listens but you, the invisible person who dictates what is right and wrong and whom scolds me for singing a note in any of my songs.
I’m having a full blown conversation with this man and I can’t seem to find an end, well when I’m out with a good friend or person that I love my mind seems to go blank see.
And quite frankly, I really don’t know why my mind is put at ease when there’s so many more things that could go wrong when there’s people around. Like possibly a frown that leads to an anxiousness that makes me want to find escape, well that feeling happens when I’m alone yet when I am in solitude I am the most at peace and talking to myself gives me the most release.
I’m sort of at odds with myself, if only I could take a break and never come back. Sort of like any lover of mine has said they’d be back, but never return. Unfortunately I seem to never learn from my mistakes as my mother tells me, and I’m bound to hell if I don’t go to church and thank the man upstairs with a capital G.
Funny enough, I wrote this all down when I was having a talk with the invisible me.