wheel of misfortune

(From MY UPCOMING BOOK)

I’ve stomped on every crack,
I’ve decimated every mirror,
I’ve rolled out a red carpet for the black cats to cross my path,
I’ve run marathons under every ladder I’ve seen,
I’ve spilled beaches of salt,
I’ve made sure each one of my ten wives leave their purses on the ground,
I’ve always tipped the waiter $6.66,
I’ve danced with two umbrellas open indoors during the summer,
I’ve shaved my head on Friday the 13th,
I’ve changed my birth date to the 13th Friday of the year,
I hyperventilate at cemeteries,
I’ve gotten out of bed on a different side every morning,
but still I awake
to good luck
in my reach
and cheap beer
in my fridge.

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